‘Am I an alcoholic?’ is a legitimate question for someone to ask themself. So, how do you answer it?
A simple definition of alcoholism is: continuing to drink alcohol, regardless of the consequences. But what does this look like in reality?
What alcoholism isn’t
Let’s start with what it doesn’t look like.
Alcoholism is not defined by how much you drink, what types of alcohol you drink, how often you drink, whether you drink alone, or even whether you always have consequences when you drink.
So, if you don’t drink daily, you don’t drink cheap spirits, you only drink with friends and sometimes you have one or two drinks and go safely home to bed, none of this means you aren’t an alcoholic.
Alcoholism and unpredictability
Alcoholism is more recognisable if you start looking for signs of its unpredictability.
At its simplest this may be drinking alcohol when you’ve made the decision not to. It could be that you’re wanting to cut back now you’re no longer young and living the single life, but somehow you keep slipping back into heavy drinking. It may be that you planned to go out for one or two drinks, but the night developed into much more than that, and even led on to drug-taking, sex outside a committed relationship, a gambling spree or losing your keys, your car and your dignity.
Alcoholics know they have a problem because they sense the unpredictability of what follows on from one drink. Maybe nothing will happen, but maybe something regrettable will happen, and they just can’t guarantee which way things will go once they have some alcohol inside them. At times, there is a noticeable lack of choice and control.
Some people report an immediate urge to have more alcohol once they have the first drink. Others recognise that their thinking is very obsessive around drinking: how many should I have? When can I start? Who else needs a top-up? Does anyone know I’ve been drinking? Where can I get more? Should I switch from spirits to wine? Or wine to beer? Maybe I’ll drink less if I have water in between alcoholic drinks? Can I just hold out until 6pm? Should I drink before I go out so I can drink less when I’m out? The thoughts go round and round and on and on.
Alcoholism is progressive
Alcoholism has a forward motion to it. Things only get worse and more intense over time. Occasionally there may be a reprieve, when things feel more under control. But this never lasts for long.
When the fun turns to fun-and-problems, then the progression to problems-and-no-fun has begun in earnest.
All alcoholics will start to experience negative consequences. These could be in any area of life: education, health, friendships, marriage, work, parenting. Anything. But there is a noticeable downturn in the way life starts to run.
If you know your problem, you can find your solution
The good news is that if you decide you may be an alcoholic, help is available now. Being honest with yourself is the first step to living well again. It doesn’t matter what other people in your life think about your drinking. Your honesty is the only thing that will reveal to you the truth.
So, if you’re wondering whether you’re an alcoholic, please get in touch and let’s take an honest peek at your drinking together. I know the signs to look out for and how to help you change in ways that feel positive for you and help you break free from the problems you don’t need in your life.