When a substance or behaviour is used over the long term to change the way you feel, it can quietly interfere with personal growth. Not because you are weak or broken, but because it changes how you relate to your inner world.
Our feelings and emotions are essential tools. They help us orientate ourselves in the world. They direct us towards what we want and need, towards people we like and away from those we do not, towards safety and away from danger. When we learn to tolerate our feelings and pay attention to them, we have a pretty reliable internal guide for navigating life’s ups and downs, and for living life well.
Problematic use of substances, such as drugs and alcohol, or behaviours, such as compulsivity around food or sex, are often ways of avoiding difficult feelings. In the short term, that can feel like relief. It can take the edge off, provide focus, create numbness, or give you a sense of control.
But when we keep operating in ways that short-cut that internal navigation system, we eventually find ourselves spinning, with no clear direction to follow. You might be functioning on the outside while feeling increasingly lost on the inside. You might be doing everything you can to keep life together, yet it still feels like life is not going well and you do not know how to change it.
This is a common way my clients describe their experience. It is not dramatic in the beginning. It is often slow, confusing, and private.
Feelings and emotions do not disappear. They get hidden.
Therapy is a gentle way to bring them out of hiding, and to learn how to be guided by them again. This can be challenging, especially if you have been living in survival mode for a long time. It is also a mind-body-spirit process that most people find quite enjoyable and very rewarding once it begins to make sense.
As the hidden parts start to come back into view, what was invisible becomes visible. You begin to understand what has been driving things underneath the surface. You get to know yourself differently, respect yourself more, and start to make choices that work well for you.
Once a person is firing on all cylinders again, life tends to move in better directions. Not through force or willpower, but through a clearer inner compass.
If life is not going the way you want and you cannot see a way through, you are welcome to get in touch. One small step today is enough. I offer a free 20-minute initial online consultation as a chance for us to meet, talk briefly about what’s been going on for you, and get a sense of whether working together feels like a good fit.
Please be aware that psychotherapy should not be considered an emergency treatment. If you are feeling suicidal, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14, and contact your GP or other healthcare provider for extra support.
