Are you confused about your drinking?
When someone starts to suspect their drinking has become a problem, they often sit with a lot of confusion.
One of the biggest causes for confusion is that for many people, in the past, drinking alcohol didn’t cause them problems and they can’t understand what has changed or how to reverse that change. Or, since their drinking only creates chaos sometimes, people wonder is it the drinking that’s a problem, or a lack of self-control that’s the problem? Most people starting to experience consequences when drinking want to be able to hold on to the good drinking and stop the bad. But they just can’t seem to manage it.
If any of this resonates with you, you too may be wondering why you can’t control your drinking the way you’d like.
Is drinking working for you any more?
Perhaps it would help to flip things around a bit? When drinking alcohol becomes unpredictable and you can’t be sure whether one drink will be relaxing or unwittingly lead to a disaster, it’s worth considering whether drinking alcohol works for you at all.
We’re all different. No two people have to like or do the same thing. Maybe you haven’t even asked yourself whether you’re still drinking alcohol, regardless of the difficulties it’s causing you, because you want to or because you think you have to?
A lot of people assume that a fun social life has to include alcohol, but in reality that’s not actually true. Simply because your neighbour / friend / brother drinks alcohol, it doesn’t follow that you have to if it’s not benefiting you.
Are you valuing drinking over everything else?
What are the reasons you’re willing to keep rolling the dice with the things the matter to you?
If the evidence is mounting that when you drink alcohol you can’t guarantee you won’t upset loved ones and friends; act in ways that don’t align with your values; hurt yourself, become ill, get banging hangovers or find yourself in trouble at work or with the law; what’s the reason you think that the solution to your problems is to be found in the bottle?
Is the price you’re paying to hold on to this idea getting a bit high?
Are you volunteering for pain?
Things may look even clearer if you look at your situation in another way. Apply a different scenario: if you were allergic to oysters, but only violently ill from them every second serving, would you still choose to eat them regularly? Would it be worth the risk when, after all, not everyone chooses to eat oysters, you’ll never be forced to eat oysters and it’s perfectly possible to enjoy a good meal without them? You might be able to see in this example where your choice lies, and how staying true to what works for you may relieve you of some avoidable and horrible consequences.
Is drinking the real problem?
The thing about problematic drinking is that it is masking a deeper problem that needs addressing.
So, the solution is not in whether you can revert to drinking like a lady, or a gentleman, again (if, on close inspection, you ever did). It’s in whether you can let go of the symptom of problematic drinking in order that the real problem can surface, see the light of day and be resolved.
You might be grateful you chose not to drink in order to uncover the real issue. And you may feel much freer and lighter as a result.
Having read this post, you may have more thoughts or questions. I encourage you to share them. If I can help you work through any confusion around your drinking, please feel free to get in touch.